mortality

the parents of my sister's best friend were over tonight for dinner, and afterward they and my parents and i sat around a fire talking late into the night. one thing that really caught my attention was talking about birthday's, and my dad mentioning that he doesn't want another one. (and by that, he just means that he doesn't want to get older, not that he has a death wish.) and i quoted back to him what he usually says, "it's better than the alternative." i'm not sure how true that is, for the Christian, but something really struck me about that tonight that hasn't in a long time.

every person who was in that room will die.

i don't consider my own mortality very often, but that was a bit of a wake-up call. i keep trying to motivate myself to do things, to not waste time, etc. and i think about how "i'll never live this moment again", and stuff like that, but it doesn't hit me too much, because i figure i'll have a bunch more, so wasting one moment, or one hour, or one day isn't a big deal.

but tonight, my eyes were opened for a moment. i felt what it would be like for each of these people, who i hold close, to be dead, gone, no second chances, no more time. and i thought about that for me.

i will die.

and that's kinda crazy to think about. but i think i've found something that helps me grip the reality that i only get one shot at this life, and the question i have to answer is "will i make it count? or will i waste it, just let it slide by?"

i want to make it count.

i want to burn out bright.

ever since december, i've had the song "for good" from wicked stuck in my head. particularly at the end, where they sing "i do believe i have been changed for the better; because i knew you, i have been changed for good." i want that to be true of me, that things have been changed for the better, that my life isn't a waste.

i want, "well done, good and faithful servant."

if you want a message to rock your world for following Christ, not just knowing about Him, listen to this message

one thought that really stuck with me:
we too rarely think about the needs of the Church universal, and often we are encouraged by someone convicting us with a phrase like "if it was your brother" or "your mother" or "your sister, then..." but the truth is, it's not an if statement. you're in the Body, they're in the Body, God is our father, therefore we are brothers. and it's time i started acting like it.

action - reaction

"and immediately [Jesus] left the synagogue and entered the house of simon and andrew, with james and john. now simon's mother-in-law lay ill with a fever, and immediately they told him about her. and he came and took her by the hand and lifted her up, and the fever left her, and she began to serve them." -mark 1:29-31

i was reading this passage just now, and it came to my mind how striking it is that peter's mother, after being ill enough that she was probably bed-ridden, as soon as she is healed, starts serving Jesus and His group.

Jesus has done so much for me, has poured out so much grace into my life, and yet i don't generally even do as much as peter's mother-in-law. i was brought from death to life, from darkness to light, and yet i rarely really serve. may this conviction not die with merely writing it here.

God, help me to serve you better, to want to do so, that i may rejoice all the more in your greatness.