death

so i often think about my deserving death. i really do thank God most mornings that i'm not in hell right then, because i know that's what i deserve, and while i know it's pathetically small, i am really grateful in those moments that He's saved me from my sin and its just punishment.

however, i rarely think about the reality of my death. and i don't really live in light of it, no matter what i would like to say. it's hard to even fathom my own non-life, non-existence at least as i experience it now.

this might just be a guy thing, but talking about death or killing has a certain air to it, when one uses the right kind of language. i've always thought that saying "i will end you" is a particularly profound and epic way of threatening someone with death. i mention this, because i find that to be the best way of describing my predicament. it's hard to imagine one's own end.

i thank God that it's not truly the end, and that by His grace there is life and resurrection after our perishable bodies decay and are done away with. but to really come to grips with my own mortality, that's not something i do often, and something i think i dearly need to. i feel far too invincible, and act like i have all the time in the world.

come now, you who say, "today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. what is your life? for you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."

c.j. mahaney on cross-centered songs

during the worshipGod09 conference (which i was blessed to attend back in august), c.j. mahaney and bob kauflin had an interview session on what they've learned from leading a church in worship together for the past 30+ years. i highly recommend listening to that session.

one bit that particularly impacted me was one of the reasons sovereign grace has so many songs about the cross and the gospel. below is part of c.j.'s response.

"we must never leave the impression during corporate worship that we do not need a mediator. There isn’t a moment where I don’t need a mediator. In light of the Father’s holiness and my sinfulness, I cannot approach him directly apart from Christ. It is quite possible for us to sing songs that are accurately extolling the attributes of God. But if the cross is absent, we leave the unintended impression that somehow I can approach the Father apart from a mediator—that I can experience intimacy with God apart from the One who died for my many sins."

this idea has significantly changed how i think and pray. i hope you take the time to meditate on this, and that it blesses you as well.

owen and his passion

"Herein, then, our present edification is principally concerned; for in this present beholding of the glory of Christ, the life and power of faith are most eminently acted. And from this exercise of faith does love unto Christ principally, if not solely, arise and spring. If, therefore, we desire to have faith in its vigour or love in its power, giving rest, complacency, and satisfaction unto our own souls, we are to seek for them in the diligent discharge of this duty; — elsewhere they will not be found. Herein would I live; — herein would I die; — hereon would I dwell in my thoughts and affections, to the withering and consumption of all the painted beauties of this world, unto the crucifying all things here below, until they become unto me a dead and deformed thing, no way meet for affectionate embraces."

~John Owen, Meditations and Discourses on the Glory of Christ