read this first:
"what should i do if my spouse does not keep himself or herself well?"

i understand we should present these types of things humbly and gently, but isn't it just... for lack of a better word, wimpy to have to frame requests like this or rebukes with "oh, well here's what's good about you, and here's what's wrong with me, and now i can tell you what's wrong with you." that doesn't seem to be the Biblical pattern, but rather from the false humility and "democracy" or "being like folks" (see "screwtape makes a toast" by c.s. lewis) that is promoted in the west, especially in the u.s.

and the sounds of the underground in town turned into praise

this is a really awesome article on some stuff going on with mhc seattle. every time i read something like this i once again wish i actually had a place to host stuff. all in His good timing.